All sufferers of any type of disease are often determined to carry on with their 'normal life' and for me, being able to work gives me that normality and routine I need. With all the changes going on at my company, it disrupted my normality and soon had an impact on my health. I was worried about every possible outcome, and at the thought of having a new manager. One of the hardest things I have found with IBD, is that it is invisible and people can't see what is going on so find it hard to understand. When I went back to work after diagnosis, it was important to establish a good relationship with my managers and colleagues to ensure that all parties were understanding of the disease, what it entailed, and how it would affect my work. I felt the panic of having to do this all over again and it sent my stomach into overdrive.
A couple of weeks ago, I ended up spending my Friday night in Basildon A&E after being sent in an ambulance after an emergency doctors appointment. The doctor worried that I could have a perforated bowel due to the significant pain I was in and the swelling of my stomach. I looked 7 months pregnant and was screaming like I was going into labour. The pain was so bad it frightened me, and I know I had frightened my family and boyfriend. When I was in the hospital, I had blood tests and an X-ray and it just showed my bowel was blocked. So nothing major to worry about and it could be sorted without any surgery. I was put on a liquid diet and prescribed medication to help get things moving. I felt so upset to be back in a flare. I had worked so hard to get myself to where I was and I felt like I had just taken 10 steps back. The stress of everything that had been going on at work all caught up with me and resulted in another flare. I was so frustrated, but that would only make it worse. It was important for me to think of this as just a side step, not a step back.
I had a lot of appointments with the doctors to check how I was doing and what I could be doing to get better. My doctor signed me off of work for a few weeks which initially really upset me, as I was panicking that I wasn't around to 'prove myself' especially under all the new circumstances and changes that had been going on. It made my anxiety even worse! I could rapidly feel myself spiralling as I had done before, but fortunately for me, I can now notice this behaviour so I was able to quickly pull myself together. I threw myself into getting healthy and experimenting with my liquid diet and relied heavily on my therapist for support. It's been two and a half weeks now since I was rushed into hospital, and I can see an improvement in my health. Although I am still absolutely exhausted, struggling to sleep, still on a liquid diet and suffering flare symptoms I am in a better place than I was a couple of weeks ago. This gives me hope and makes me feel positive to overcome this blip.
So for now I am working from home, whilst I can't handle the commute and it is good to have a routine again and some normality. I am still sticking to a liquid based diet where I can, as I have really noticed the benefits. I've been having lots of juices, soups, shakes all made from organic fruits and vegetables. Crohn's Disease sufferers often don't absorb nutrients properly so by having liquid it means it is easier to absorb so I plan to continue having juices when possible every day. If you want to check out some of my recipes, follow my Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/xoxocrohniegirl/
It does upset me that I am only 22 and have to spend the majority of my day in bed and not able to do and enjoy the things other young people are doing, but my health is the most important thing. So if I have to miss out on somethings for now, in the long run it will be worth it.
XOXO Crohnie Girl
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