Feeling 22

April 23rd 2016 - My first birthday as 'Crohnie Girl'. Quite a weird thought really to think that as well as being a year older, I am now an owner of a chronic illness. An awful lot can happen in a year, and I think it is sometimes important to look back, but only to see how far you have come. Even though I seem to get on well with my illness on a daily basis and not let it stop me from living my life, I still don't feel I am at the stage of acceptance. I get very frustrated when I feel it's presence and it is easy to slip back in to the thoughts and feelings I had earlier on in my illness. I still grieve the life I used to live, and especially at this time of year when I think back to it being my 21st. How much fun I had, how I could do whatever I wanted but now things are so different... But different doesn't necessarily mean bad, and a positive attitude can turn things around. Now I like to set myself little challenges of different, fun things I can do and one thing to think of was birthday celebrations.

My mum had the task of making me a gluten free, dairy free birthday cake and I have to say it was delicious!! And everyone in my office agreed

For my birthday, I would usually go out with a big group and head to a London club for a night filled with vodka, dancing and usually Macdonalds chicken nuggets! But I can't really do this now, without being shattered for a good week and being able to hold more than one drink and I definitely can't eat chicken nuggets (crying face!). So I wanted to think of something equally fun and special that I could do and enjoy. I've always loved dressing up and going to nice places so I thought I could go for afternoon tea in London with my girlfriends and began researching places to go. Afternoon tea was a perfect idea apart from two issues - I am gluten & dairy intolerant - so cakes and sandwiches could be a problem! However, I came across the 'Pret-a-Portea' afternoon tea at the Berkley London and they advertised catering to dietary requirements so I got in contact to see what they could do. They offered me the private dining room as there was a big group of us, and said they could make all my food gluten and dairy free which sounded amazing to me! I booked it straight away and couldn't wait.

The day came and I got all dressed up and headed to London with my friends feeling excited to celebrate. The staff at the Berkley were lovely, and had personalised our menus and even made cute name places which was a really special touch. It was so nice to have everything done and not worry about being difficult, or fussy and just enjoy the day. I absolutely loved it. People say the birthday after your 21st is never going to be as good, but I can honestly say it was one of the best birthdays I have had and my friends and family made it. When you go through a tough time, you really get to know who your true friends are. The good friends will step up to the mark and be there for you. The ones that don't, just show their true colours and as hurtful and upsetting as that can be, it is their problem (see The Third Party!)

So turning 22 was a success, and I am starting to feel like a real life grown up! I think last year was a bit of a funny one for me, as half of it was spent being unwell, so this year I am going to focus on total happiness and letting nothing pass me by. If I want something I am going to go for it and not let Crohns, or anything else for that matter hold me back. I am going to focus on doing everything I want to do and be happy doing it. I may be feeling 22, but my Crohns isn't even 1! So I'll be having to have another 'birthday' for that on the 23rd June. I can't believe it has been a year... but then again, look how far I have come in that year, and I'm going to keep going.

XOXO Crohnie Girl